001 - brothers who fuss together stay together
Who: Ciro and Gen Bonavita (Chikusa and Makoto)
When: May 13, middle of the night, right after this nonsense // and then May 21 after this
Where: The brothers' apartments on school grounds
What: Exchanging one text and then another, the brothers find comfort with each other.
Warnings: Minor self harm, mental issues
Ciro knows that he doesn't look exactly his best as he waits out the elevator's descent onto the ground floor. Pajama bottoms are bad enough, but he's been wearing his "schrodinger's cat is alive/dead" shirt as nightwear for a straight week without tossing it into his laundry basket. But it's the middle of the night- he doubts he's going to run across anyone who will be able to judge him. Possibly because they might be drunk; he's heard about some of the older students having parties in their apartments with some of the usual nightly haunts now barred to them for obvious reasons.
Right now, however, all he cares about is getting down to his brother's apartment. The halls are quiet when he steps out of the elevator, but he still makes his steps quick and strides long as he goes down it.
Honestly... He almost welcomes it, although he feels a little guilty about it. That hallucination... It felt too real. Even now, although he knows he's walking on carpet through a brightly lit building, all he can think about is the feel of cold grass pressing into too-thin pants and his body burning against the night's chill. More than his surroundings, however, he still remembers so clearly that other boy his age who he had locked eyes with. One blue, the other red with a strange pupil, and the way his heart had twisted....
His feelings for that boy had been stronger than anything Ciro thinks he's ever felt before... And that alone, he doesn't know how to feel about. Either way, he'll really have to talk to Counselor Katsuki... He'd thought his medication was working fine, but if he's hallucinating, well... He guesses they're back to square one.
Shoving away both thoughts- that of the boy, and what he'll have to talk about with his counselor- Ciro stops in front of the oh-so familiar door number that he's known for a good few years now. It's unnecessary, but he knocks anyway before pulling out the spare key his brother gave to him when he first came to dorm at the school.
"Gen?" he asks as he opens the door open slightly, bulging messenger bag bumping against his hip and then the door as he peers in. "I'm here."
When: May 13, middle of the night, right after this nonsense // and then May 21 after this
Where: The brothers' apartments on school grounds
What: Exchanging one text and then another, the brothers find comfort with each other.
Warnings: Minor self harm, mental issues
Ciro knows that he doesn't look exactly his best as he waits out the elevator's descent onto the ground floor. Pajama bottoms are bad enough, but he's been wearing his "schrodinger's cat is alive/dead" shirt as nightwear for a straight week without tossing it into his laundry basket. But it's the middle of the night- he doubts he's going to run across anyone who will be able to judge him. Possibly because they might be drunk; he's heard about some of the older students having parties in their apartments with some of the usual nightly haunts now barred to them for obvious reasons.
Right now, however, all he cares about is getting down to his brother's apartment. The halls are quiet when he steps out of the elevator, but he still makes his steps quick and strides long as he goes down it.
Honestly... He almost welcomes it, although he feels a little guilty about it. That hallucination... It felt too real. Even now, although he knows he's walking on carpet through a brightly lit building, all he can think about is the feel of cold grass pressing into too-thin pants and his body burning against the night's chill. More than his surroundings, however, he still remembers so clearly that other boy his age who he had locked eyes with. One blue, the other red with a strange pupil, and the way his heart had twisted....
His feelings for that boy had been stronger than anything Ciro thinks he's ever felt before... And that alone, he doesn't know how to feel about. Either way, he'll really have to talk to Counselor Katsuki... He'd thought his medication was working fine, but if he's hallucinating, well... He guesses they're back to square one.
Shoving away both thoughts- that of the boy, and what he'll have to talk about with his counselor- Ciro stops in front of the oh-so familiar door number that he's known for a good few years now. It's unnecessary, but he knocks anyway before pulling out the spare key his brother gave to him when he first came to dorm at the school.
"Gen?" he asks as he opens the door open slightly, bulging messenger bag bumping against his hip and then the door as he peers in. "I'm here."
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He looks deeply into his brother's face, studying him, his own mouth a thin line. The phone is noted, but ignored for the moment. "Dig into my arm if you have to." He's had enough students hit his arms to not be bothered by pain. "Just don't - don't hurt yourself."
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"It doesn't hurt," he says slowly. "It- It doesn't feel like anything, Gen. I'm..."
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Gen lets go of his brother's wrists suddenly to draw him into a tight hug. His heart is beating too fast, but it's fine. He needs to protect his brother. He needs to be the -
'Big brother?'
- That's what the girl in that... whatever it was... had called him. And while he doesn't know who she is, that is what he is.
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Ciro curls against Gen, fingers going to dig not into skin but his brother's shirt, and he has to hide his face against his shoulder. He's not crying, not yet, but it almost feels like he should. "I don't know why it's happening," he wheezes, knees drawing up. More than anything, he wants to draw himself into a ball until everything... starts again? stops? Even he has no idea.
"It's like having a panic attack without the panic."
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He presses his cheek against the top of his brother's head, rocking him slowly. "We'll get through this. I promise."
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"...How...? Everyone will just... think we're idiots, or insane..."
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... But it worked out. It worked out just fine, and he has a family who cares and he has Ciro and it's enough. TO know someone actually loves him, despite his resistance. "We'll figure out what's real, one step at a time. I can't do this alone, Ciro." He nudges his brother a little, a smile creeping onto his face. "I'm not all that smart. I need your help. Will you help me?"
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But then Gen nudges him, and he has to look up, and... He can't refuse him. Even with the conflicting thoughts churning in his head, the feeling of being so detached from his own body that he can't feel a single thing, all of that, he can't refuse him. Looking as tired as he feels, he gives a weak nod.
Of course he will. Every time.
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Nothing to Ciro, at least. He can't say as much for his own dreams, but whatever.
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He's here. Gen's here. They'll be alright.
Another nod, and something bright catches his attention. Right, right- his phone. Leaning down, he picks it up again, and tries to focus best he can on scratched up plastic against his palm. "...Everyone's still talking."
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"... My name pops up as Makoto. That's not - that's not my name. But you'll know it's me." He's not 'Makoto Fukami'. That makes no sense. He tries to swallow, but his throat feels too tight. He winces as a headache starts building, and he tightens his grip around his brother. "Ciro... be careful." Gen struggles to keep his breathing even, but it's picking up and he's not sure why.
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"Gen? What's wrong?" He tries to get up to his feet, tries to get his brother up with him. "Do you need water, or something?"
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Focusing... right. Ciro... "That's what I'm supposed to do, right? Worry? And kick the ass of anyone who'd hurt you."
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Ciro doesn't say it, just like Gen doesn't say what he's really thinking. Instead, he just nods, slowly. "....I ran into John the other day. He said that tea helps headaches, and things like that. I'll make some, and we can go to my room."
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"....If you want... You could start filling up the pot with water?" It's a really nice pot, too. Stores up solar energy, then uses it to heat up whatever gets put into the pot. Ciro likes it, at any rate. "And I can find the chamomile."
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Well. Things happen. He would never call himself a tea person, but, despite that, he seemed to have a lot of tea even before he talked to John for this particular instance.
While Gen gets the pot ready, Ciro retrieves the mugs. Gen's is a pale gray mug, not particularly inspiring except for the little ceramic wolf attached to the bottom of it. His own is actually a relic from when he first moved out, which explains the childish whale design of it where the tail emerges to act as the handle. With those out, next is the tea itself, and after that all he can do is wait for the water. The phone is checked a couple of times, but... He's still out of it. Any messages sent probably don't make much sense, and he does't spend much time on it anyway before tucking it into his pajama pocket.
They're going to be okay. Whatever is going on, they'll be okay with each other. He tries to tell himself that, and believe it.
"Do you want to pour the water?"
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Once the water is poured and the pot is set down, he puts a hand on Ciro's shoulder, trying to steady him while they wait for the tea to steep. "... It'll be okay, Ciro." Everything will be. It has to be. Even if Ciro isn't feeling well... it'll pass.
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Ciro seems resigned to just staring at the tea as it steeps, watching every little change, so he blinks up in distant confusion as he feels that light pressure against his shoulder. Will it? Still, he gives a small nod. Gen needs this as much as he does, after all.
"...The curfew was supposed to keep us safe. Wasn't it?"
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"...Stay safe too?"
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After a few minutes, he glances up from beneath what hair of his is untucked. "...I think the tea's ready."
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