001 - brothers who fuss together stay together

[kokuyoyo]

Who: Ciro and Gen Bonavita (Chikusa and Makoto)
When: May 13, middle of the night, right after this nonsense // and then May 21 after this
Where: The brothers' apartments on school grounds
What: Exchanging one text and then another, the brothers find comfort with each other.
Warnings: Minor self harm, mental issues

Ciro knows that he doesn't look exactly his best as he waits out the elevator's descent onto the ground floor. Pajama bottoms are bad enough, but he's been wearing his "schrodinger's cat is alive/dead" shirt as nightwear for a straight week without tossing it into his laundry basket. But it's the middle of the night- he doubts he's going to run across anyone who will be able to judge him. Possibly because they might be drunk; he's heard about some of the older students having parties in their apartments with some of the usual nightly haunts now barred to them for obvious reasons.

Right now, however, all he cares about is getting down to his brother's apartment. The halls are quiet when he steps out of the elevator, but he still makes his steps quick and strides long as he goes down it.

Honestly... He almost welcomes it, although he feels a little guilty about it. That hallucination... It felt too real. Even now, although he knows he's walking on carpet through a brightly lit building, all he can think about is the feel of cold grass pressing into too-thin pants and his body burning against the night's chill. More than his surroundings, however, he still remembers so clearly that other boy his age who he had locked eyes with. One blue, the other red with a strange pupil, and the way his heart had twisted....

His feelings for that boy had been stronger than anything Ciro thinks he's ever felt before... And that alone, he doesn't know how to feel about. Either way, he'll really have to talk to Counselor Katsuki... He'd thought his medication was working fine, but if he's hallucinating, well... He guesses they're back to square one.

Shoving away both thoughts- that of the boy, and what he'll have to talk about with his counselor- Ciro stops in front of the oh-so familiar door number that he's known for a good few years now. It's unnecessary, but he knocks anyway before pulling out the spare key his brother gave to him when he first came to dorm at the school.

"Gen?" he asks as he opens the door open slightly, bulging messenger bag bumping against his hip and then the door as he peers in. "I'm here."

Comments

[kokuyoyo]

"I'm not that bad...." Still, he ends up obeying anyway, arms loosely wrapped around himself as he shuffles out of the kitchen and leads the way to his room. If anything, since Gen has last visited, it's gotten even greener.

There's the usual growing vine that, once upon a time when the room was still fairly empty and it was the sole life by the window, has managed to crawl up along the wall, around the corner of the ceiling, and is brushing against the edges of the door frame now. When he was younger, tending to it used to be one of the few reasons Ciro would come back to the place on his own. Since then, it's gained cohorts: a small host of little potted cacti take up space along the window sill, tiny pots of lavender decorate the small shelf over the headboard of his bed with healthy buds, and the honorary GVGC bonsai has a proud place at his desk where small green fruits are growing on it. They're all plants which either have no pollen or little pollen at all, fortunately for Gen- which is why Ciro has chosen them in particular.

Besides the abundance of plant life (the apartment balcony is worse, sorry Gen), there's a few other things. Of particular note is the signed Daimon poster right besides the door, because Ciro needs to swoon quietly to himself every time he leaves his room, obviously, and various plastic containers that have been shoved under his bed containing various things. The shelves over his desk contain various books for pleasure- it's the much larger one besides his desk which have all his school books. Save for the plants and the desk a bit, it's all fairly neat- all Ciro has to do as he enters is nudge his shoes out of the way so that Gen doesn't trip on them before settling down on the edge of his bed.

[transient_specter]

"I just want to make sure." It only takes a minute or so for him to set aside the tea bags and bring the tea into Ciro's room. He's not surprised by the greenery - the festival is coming up, after all - and he's seen the Daimon poster enough to make it not as well be there. He crosses the room cautiously, and hands Ciro his tea, making sure he has a firm grasp on it before letting go. He sits down next to his brother, leaning against him slightly.

... It really is late, and he has to teach in the morning, but it's fine. He's taught on less sleep. "Here. ... Don't drink it too fast." His free hand goes to rub Ciro's back gently, trying to soothe him. He's still worried... but if it persists, then he'll worry more. No sense in trying to puzzle it out this early in the morning.

[kokuyoyo]

As Gen leans against him, so Ciro does right back. Not being alone right now is for the best, he's quickly realizing. Everything is coming back to him, even if the pace isn't the fastest. He's even feeling the faint ache along one arm. It's a good thing that the school uniform is long sleeved.... He can have an excuse until the marks fade.

"I know..." A soft sip, and he focuses on the heat flowing down through his body. On the pressure against his back. "....Don't forget yours and have it go cold, too."

[transient_specter]

"Yeah." He sips his own tea, taking a few deep breaths. After a little bit more sipping, he stops rubbing Ciro's back and just holds him, focusing on listening to their breathing. It's never totally quiet in the dorm - there's always someone's footsteps from far off - but it's close enough that it's peaceful. "... How are you feeling now?"

[kokuyoyo]

For a few seconds, Ciro just thinks on the answer, Carefully, he taps each finger against the mug. "...Myself, I think. For while, I didn't- it was what like I imagine an out of body experience to be like, but not quite as distant." He reaches up to swipe his hand against one eye, knuckles bumping at his glasses frame. "Does that make any sense at all?"

[transient_specter]

"... It makes sense. Don't worry. ... I had a similar feeling." He presses his leg against his brother's, just keeping the contact there. They're both here. They're both themselves. They have each other, if nothing else. "It was... disturbing, but at least it's passed. If you're still worried about it Monday morning, you could call the counselor again."

[kokuyoyo]

"Maybe.." But that reminds him, and he sips some more tea to help clear his mind before looking at Gen. "By the way, I did ask him about hallucinations.... At the start of the month." Before everything went to shit. "He said... Hallucinations can occur in any of the senses. Even touch, or temperature, or pain."

He's not sure how much good it will do them right now, but.... since they're talking about it.

[transient_specter]

"... Makes sense." He'd pushed away the weird pain he'd felt, considering how disturbing it had been. "Did he give you any reason that it might be happening?" As much as it seems like something's up if it's not just him... it might be good to rule things out.

[kokuyoyo]

"There's always medication..." Which might have explained the scene Gen just walked in on- Ciro had certainly attributed it to that. "And.... various mental illness. But I don't- " He pauses, rubbing at his mug again. "...Low blood sodium is also occasionally a cause. There's also a few other things, but those are the most common."

[transient_specter]

"Mm." He's never liked the idea of relying on medication. He knows it can be helpful for some people, but it feels more like a crutch for him. Even when he'd broken things in the process of learning martial arts, he'd resisted pain medication as much as he could.

Ciro doesn't need to even finish the aborted sentence. 'I don't think you're crazy', or something like that. "... Maybe I'll look into that. But not resting probably can't be helpful - how many hours have you slept over the past few weeks, getting ready for the Flower Festival?" He's teasing, but... he is worried.

[kokuyoyo]

That's part of why you drive him up the wall, Gen.

Still, before he can voice any concerns about what Gen is going through, he has them turned on him first, and Ciro looks embarrassed. "It's not as though I can stay out in the gardens late, even on the school grounds. Not with curfew in effect. I've.... been getting enough."

[transient_specter]

Just as planned.

"... I know. But you work yourself way too hard sometimes. I just want to make sure my baby brother keeps himself healthy." Don't make him tell Mom, Ciro. That is a last resort, but he'll tell Mom if he has to.

[kokuyoyo]

Oh god, don't tell Mom.

"I'm fine. Really, I promise." Unable to help himself, he shifts the cup into one hand and rubs along the marks left on his arm. They're still visible, but they're no longer quite the distressed red that they once were. Perhaps by morning, they won't really be visible at all. It's all he can hope. "The only thing that's making anything unhealthy about me is...." Trailing off, he shakes his head. "You know."

That app.

[transient_specter]

He reaches out to take his brother's hand. Don't rub them, you'll irritate them. "... Yeah. I know. But we can beat anything if we're together, right?" That's how it's always worked.

[kokuyoyo]

His hand stills. "....Yeah." A slow nod, but it's not hesitant. So long as he's not alone, then this won't be as bad as it could be. All he has to do is remember that. "I just wish there was more to do. But everything happens so much..." Even without the app, there's the murders, and the festival...