01 - Let's do Business

[truthkills]

Who: Kiriya (still going by his AU name of Kiran for the moment) and anyone who needs a new phone at very reasonable prices
When: A couple of days after the app starts appearing on everyone's phones.
Where: Lazer's Pawn
What: Clearly, everyone who's been dealing with this Applenet thing needs a new phone, and Kiran is all too happy to exploit the situation while quietly trying to see if he can identify anyone else on the network in real life. Also serves as a general mingle for other pawn shop shenanigans should you so desire.

Lazer's Pawn, which is currently owned and operated by one Mr. Kiran Sparrow, has never been one of the more respectable establishments in Eddam. Far from it. People rarely end up there on purpose; they mostly wind up there on accident after making a series of questionable decisions. Located in Richmond, it's easily spotted by its bright pink neon marquee sign bearing the store name.

There's currently a sign outside the shop that reads "CELL PHONE BLOWOUT SALE AND TRADE-IN-PALOOZA! DETAILS INSIDE." Kiran even sprung for a few shiny gold mylar balloons just to help draw attention to his no-expense-spared handwritten posterboard that looks like it's been taped over a "Wet Floor" sign.

Stepping inside the pawn shop either presents the impression that the owner really loves the late 80s and early 90s...or is too cheap to pull up that hideously outdated vintage carpet or redo anything else in there. At least the cash register seems modern enough, and there are several signs up warning customers that these premises are monitored by security cameras...though there are no cameras in view, and it is entirely possible the signs are a load of crap. (They are, after all, cheaper than actual cameras.)

The proprietor is currently kicked back behind the counter, leaning back in an office chair with his feet propped up by the cash register. He's wearing round sunglasses indoors, so it's impossible to tell whether or not he might be asleep. Between that and the garish Hawaiian shirt and torn jeans he's also wearing, he truly looks like the pinnacle of responsible business owner.

Comments

[truthkills]

"In college, actually. Close enough." He laughs. "Poor dog, it's going to be pooping out equations."

[extremelycute]

"That sounds about right. That's when you were studying to be a doctor, right? Before you realized how much cooler this life is? Your true calling was to gift me an accordion all this time." Why not be cheeky about it? She still wants the accordion, and she'll get it if everything goes accordioning to plan. "As long as it poops out the right answers, I'll turn it in. It's better than nothing, right?"

[truthkills]

"Honestly, I'd love to see what would happen if you turned the dog poop algebra in to your teacher." There's a pause. "Don't tell your mom I'm giving you ideas again." And another pause. "Hell, take the accordion and don't tell her where you got it." She'd figure it out anyway, because who else would give this kid an accordion?

[extremelycute]

"I won't tell her as long as you keep the goods coming." What goods? All the benefits that having an uncle who owns a pawn shop qualifies. He could probably bring Ayu something that costs a quarter and she'd still be amazed and put it to work somehow. "Fortunately, this scenario would need me to put poop in my backpack, and that's not worth it." But she's still opening a nearby bag and sliding the accordion right inside. Mission accomplished.

[truthkills]

"Oh, you know me. Always making with the goods." Yeah, playing around with this is worth the price he paid for the accordion. "And there are very few things worth carrying around poop in a backpack, unless you're lighting the backpack on fire and leaving it on someone's doorstep."

[extremelycute]

She pauses mid-victory, the accordion only halfway into her bag. "Wait, what are you talking about? Do people actually do that? That's really disgusting. What if someone comes out and steps on..." Oh. A look of realization dawns on her face. "Never mind. I get it now. But you know, I don't think that's ladylike enough for me. I'm crass, but I think I draw the line somewhere above pooping."

[truthkills]

"Good, good, everyone's gotta have standards." He nods. "Besides, I've done it before, and I guarantee going to get the stuff isn't worth your thirty seconds of laughing at their misfortune. Better to mail them glitter."

[extremelycute]

"See, that's the kind of mischief I like. It's frustrating, but it has a distinct feminine touch." Well, feminine and...whatever her uncle is. He's almost prettier than mom. "I've been working on a new prank myself, you know. It's not quite finished, but I'm getting there. It takes a lot of effort, but it's worth it."

[truthkills]

"Oh, yeah?" He grins and leans forward, interested. "So what all does this new prank involve, huh?" Please, let him share his vast experience and wisdom, young grasshopper.

[extremelycute]

"Well...have you ever noticed how mashed potatoes kind of look like vanilla ice cream? That's all I'm telling you right now. But the possibilities here are endless."

[truthkills]

He bursts out laughing. "Add a little shortening to the mashed potatoes, gives 'em a little more body, brightens 'em up...the resemblance will be uncanny."

[extremelycute]

She lives for the laughter. "They won't know what hit 'em! I've already got some great toppings lined up. Their taste buds will never trust my victims again."

[truthkills]

He's perfectly willing to provide the laughter. "Excellent, excellent, you'll have to let me know how it goes."