Open Log

[spoilsfun]

Who: Conan and Anyone
What:: Various
Where: Various
When: Last Week of December

1. For Ran
Ever since their last discussion, Shinichi had been trying to think of a better way. Being there by text message was something. But it was not enough. There was no way to predict how often the personas would activate, and with no voice changer, speaking to her over the phone was not an option.

That only left one possibility. 

Several days later, Conan approaches Ran with a sealed envelope in his hand.

2. Snow [Open to Anyone] 
No matter how many times people warned him, Conan never had learned not to run in snow. Running on the way home, he hits a slippery spot and goes sliding into a snowdrift.

Comments

[spoilsfun]

"Was it really from Shinichi-niichan?"

He pushes gently, to let her talk about it if she wanted to.

[singlefaith]

She nods, pressing her lips together. She's quiet for a long moment again, staring at some point on the floor beyond him.

"I guess . . . I just wish I understood. I want to believe him. It's just so hard sometimes to trust in it. Blindly.

And yet I feel so guilty for not just trusting him. For being angry with him for not coming home and just believing it's something he needs to do."

[spoilsfun]

And that made him feel guilty all over again. He'd already asked her to wait for him so long. But he couldn't think of anything he could do but ask her to wait even longer.

"I think... I think Shinichi-niichan wants to keep his promises. I think he would have come back if he could."

[singlefaith]

She shakes her head. "Mm. I know. That's what he says too. But knowing something and feeling something aren't always the same . . . and then holding onto that conviction . . . sometimes that's even harder. I don't know then if it's actually his fault or just some kind of flaw in me."

She doesn't seem to expect him to answer that, though, because there's another shake of the head, quicker. "Here, though, I'm not sure I can wait. Even if it makes him angry, I can't just wait."

[spoilsfun]

"It isn't Ran-neechan's fault!"

Those were the words that he had feared hearing from her for months. But now that they'd been said, he couldn't be upset with her. She'd already waited for him longer than he had any reason to ask. How could he ask her to wait even longer, when there was no reason he could give her.

"Shinichi-niichan... You've already waited so long for him." His gaze drops, and he is silent for a long moment before he raises it again. "Would it be better if Shinichi-niichan left?"

[singlefaith]

Both outburst and question startle her, her eyes shooting back to him. "No." She flushes -- probably she shouldn't be talking to him like this; obviously she's said something wrong if he's even asking the question in the first place. "Mou -- I'm sorry, Conan-kun; of course I don't want him to go."

He is very attached to "Shinichi-niichan." He really likely shouldn't be hearing all of this.

[spoilsfun]

Conan frowns. It was not a question he'd ever wanted to ask. But it seemed like more and more he was starting to wonder here, with all the time he had to think.

Would Ran be happier if she wasn't waiting for him? He didn't want her to cry any more, but it seemed like he was the cause of her tears so often

"But would it be easier if he did?"

[singlefaith]

It startles her no less the second time than the first. She stares at him -- the small, quiet face, so strangely grown up. He means the question.

Inside, she stings with guilt. She's made him ask it.

". . . Easier doesn't mean it's better, Conan-kun." The words come slowly. She has to get them right. "You shouldn't always choose 'easier' because it's there. Even when it hurts. Not when the person on the other side of that choice is worth more than that."

A small smile, very faint. "If the roles were different, if it were me instead of him, I think -- I hope? -- he'd wait for me too."

[spoilsfun]

His gaze drops. They were the words he'd hoped to her, but he couldn't bring himself to be happy over it. Not when he knew how much Ran had suffered over him.

"Mmm, I think he would wait for you too."