tornheart | 10/19; a wish to make people happy

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10/19; a wish to make people happy

Who: Makoto Fukami and Chikusa Kakimoto
Where: Makoto's dorm room.
Summary: Makoto's remembering a lot more than he used to. Chikusa is concerned about him not making sense.
Warnings: Mentions of violence, human experimentation, existential crises, betrayal, kidnapping, and extreme shounen transformations are all likely.

Human. He was human, wasn't he?

... Wasn't he?

All of the memories of the two years after the defeat of the Great Eye, all of the time spent watching people grow sicker and sicker, only able to do patchwork help, only able to sit and helplessly watch... and then Danton, and the realization that once again everything he knew about himself and his family was built on a lie. A lie that he'd chosen to ignore at the end, but still a lie. All of that stewed in his head, and it had seemed like one moment he was falling asleep and the next his phone had about twelve missed messages on it and the date was entirely wrong.

He'd texted Chikusa, for lack of someone else to say something to once he'd realized he'd spent an entire day asleep, and he tried to put things away while he was waiting for the other to show up. He shoved some mugs across the counter, one of them dropping to the floor. Makoto grabbed for it, but the thing smashed against the ground, breaking into two large pieces. He groaned and picked them up, setting them aside and trying to catch his breath.

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There's no knock to announce Chikusa's presence. Only the slide of the lock, a click of the door, and then he's stepping in. He's good at being quiet, enough that he doesn't even need to really think about it. So caught up in the mugs, Makoto might not even realize the teenager is there until his quiet voice breaks through the silence.

"You didn't have to do that."

He jerks in surprise, and looks over at Chikusa. "... I know." He hadn't known what else to do while waiting, though. "... I..."

He waits until Chikusa closes the door before he speaks again. "... I had some more memories come back. I... I wasn't... born. Not like a normal human. I... I was created. In... in a lab. And so was my sister..."

He's shaking. He'd thought it was just his hands, but no, it's his entire body. He... he doesn't know what to do with this. With all of this.

Whatever news he was expecting or information that he thought might be given... Chikusa has to admit that this wasn't on the table. For a second, he can only stare blankly as he processes all this. There's a moment where his priorities clearly aren't on the same level as a normal person's, because all he can think is but I thought everyone fully Awakened already.... and then he realizes why Makoto is really shaking.

He's.... no good at people. The only people he knows how to deal with are Mukuro and Ken, when all is said and done, and... Mukuro would never be able to stomach himself being so weak as to need reassurance. Ken rebuffs it verbally, and accepts only silent alliance without getting too worked up. As for himself? Chikusa know he has never asked for it... and never given any indication, either. Not with the two people he had figured he'd spend the rest of his short life with.

In the end, what slips out of his mouth is a quiet, "...So?" His lips thin as he realizes how bad that sounds on its own. "I mean... Does it matter... if you're not a normal human?"

He tries to breathe. With everything he's been through... it's not the strangest thing. Hell, he spent years without an actual body, 'died' twice, and fought countless copies of himself. The lab part makes sense, in retrospect, but it throws so many other things off-balance.

"I... no. It doesn't. Though why Kanon couldn't be made resistant to the poisonous air too... maybe he ran out of time." He'd been imprisoned and flung into space. The man probably had other things to finish when he'd realized he was about to lose. Makoto shakes his head, trying to clear it.

"But... I... the worse thing is that we were lied to. I'd made peace with the man who'd raised us a bit before leaving us with Takeru's father, but he hadn't even used his real name. He never told us what we were. Ryu-san probably didn't know... so I can't blame him. But when we were in the Ganma World... even if Adonis didn't know about us specifically, he knew about Danton's experiments. He had to have met D - ... Godai... before. He really didn't put things together? I don't think so..." Then again he'd never seen Adel's plotting, so... maybe. "And Adel had to know. He used some of the clones. But he didn't tell me. I would have thought he'd have taunted me with it."

He rolls his shoulders, trying to feel a little more control over his body. "I don't... like being lied to. I don't like the fact that no one told me. Instead I was told in the middle of a crisis, and being forced in that situation led me to nearly kill one of my best friends. There could have been a better time to reveal it. And it could have saved me a lot of confusion, since I thought I was going insane when those doubles showed up..."

Slowly, steps tentative, Chikusa comes closer. Most of what Makoto is saying doesn't really make sense. It's all unfamiliar names with unfamiliar weight attached to them. What can he honestly say to it, even if he was good at that sort of thing? Coming to a stop besides Makoto, he glances down at the scattered pieces of the mug.

"People are stupid," he murmurs, not having much more than that. "But you know now." His hand bumps into Makoto's head.

He doesn't say anything for a few long moments, before his hand slips into Chikusa's, holding onto him firmly. He's struck by the memory of him doing this - no, not him. Of Gen doing this for Ciro. It's... strange. There's too many lies, not enough truth, but this... this is comforting.

"... I. ... Yes. They are. I don't know... I know these things happened. I know the life here is a lie. ... But it just makes me wonder what else I don't know, both at home and here."

....Oh. He hadn't- this wasn't his intention. Chikusa stares wide eyed at the hand now holding his, unsure still of what to do or what his role here is meant to be. Does Makoto know this? He has to. So is this just enough?

Uneasy and not wanting to be for any longer, Chikusa redirects his gaze towards the other again. "That's what we're trying to find out.... Right? So... we just have to keep doing that."

He's not sure either. He feels lost, but... at least there's someone to anchor him. Not his sister, but someone that he has similar memories of. Ciro and Kanon are very different, and Chikusa is different, still. And yet...

"... Yes. We have to keep moving forward. The past... we can't change it." He's never found a way to do that, other than the Great Eye... and that's gone now. Which isn't a bad thing, but still. "We need to organize what we know."

"....Right." This feels like a moment to do something, although Chikusa has no ideea what. Faintly, he knows what he's seen in movies, or Ciro's memories, but it feels distant and foreign in the way that watching fantasy seems to be.

"It'll be harder... but still manageable. As long as we're alive, anyway..."

"... Right. And I have no intention of giving up any time soon." Even if he has to fight for another ten years to get back, he'll do it. He can't let something like this place beat him down.

Exactly. Chikusa can't speak for anyone but himself... But he knows he's not allowed to die, or give up. Not yet. So, wordlessly, he stands there for a moment longer, not sure what to do with his captured hand but not sure if he should tug it free.

...But that doesn't mean he doesn't say something eventually. "There's.... a lot of glass."

No. Chikusa definitely isn't allowed to die, because Makoto would not know what to do with that. But he finally lets go of Chikusa's hand, nodding.

"I was... distracted. I can clean it up..." It's his fault, anyway.

Normally, Chikusa would step to the side and just let it happen. The less work he has to do, especially at night, the better. Yet staring down at all the shattered ceramic....

It feels like he.... shouldn't do that. Yet even the idea of what it feels like he should do is strange, foreign, and in the end he just... nudges Makoto away from it.

He sighs, and allows himself to be nudged away. "Thank you." ... Ugh, what does he even do here?

He's not sure. "... I don't think I've ever asked... I know you're an assassin, but... what is your life like in your world?"

Go sit on the couch while he stares blankly at all this ceramic, Makoto. He's definitely a responsible teenager who lives mostly on his own and knows what he's doing.

At least he stops staring at the mess when that question comes, his attention drifting slowly back to him. "Ah... Does it matter?" It's not that he's wholly against talking about his past, or his situation. It's just... Chikusa has never been the one to do that himself. It's always been Ken, more likely than either him or Mukuro, to spill that sort of information.

At least, he did it once, and Chikusa knows his partner well enough to know that he'd always do it if it ever got to that kind of point.

No. Let him be hovery. "... Not in particular, but I'm... curious. You know about me. I want to know about you."

"....One of the other's usually talks about it more..." But Chikusa doesn't have anything against doing it himself, either, besides the effort involved. Finally, he begins to move, going for a dustpan and a sweeper. While he does so, he speaks over his shoulder in the same dull monotone.

"There was a mafia Family that was interested in human experimentation... The rest of the underworld ostracized them to the point of gunning them down in public. They went into hiding, experimenting further with their own children as labrats." Crouching down, he starts to sweep the shattered mug into a pile. "Until one day one of them lashed out, killing all of the Family except for the two other experiments that had survived up until that point."

Pile gotten, he starts to maneuver it into the bin. "So, we've always been outside of regular things... We just decided to make it worth our time with killing more mafia outside our Family."

... Makoto just stares at him for a few long moments. Okay, so Danton was fucked up but... that? That's just...

"... I can see why one of you killed them." Maybe he was a lab rat, but he was created to be. Being twisted by your own family... in that kind of way? He can't even really imagine. "Are you from Italy, then?" He's been talking about mafia... if he'd been from Japan he'd be talking about the yakuza, wouldn't he?

"I didn't." A dull correction, made even as he straightens up with a pan full of mug. "Our leader did." Chikusa was just one of the survivors, fortunate enough to last as long as he did and still be seen as useful.

Still, that does remind him of something, and he pauses as he makes his way to the garbage. "Ah.... Yeah. 'Chikusa Kakimoto' is just an alias... But since it's the most recent one, I guess it works well enough."

"That's why I said 'one of you'." It's okay, Chikusa. But he frowns slightly. It's not his actual name? ... Should he ask?

... No. If Chikusa is hiding his real name, it's for a reason. He knows that in some ways he's attached to the name 'Specter' more than his actual name. So he just nods "I can imagine that kind of life would have you moving around a lot and needing to change your name..."

Oblivious to Makoto's worry over the state of his name, Chikusa finds the trash can and tips the pan down into it. "It was convenient," is all he says simply. When you never know your true name, when you only ever had a number used in reference to yourself... What was a name?

Still, done with that, he sets the pan onto the counter and glances over to Makoto dully. "...Anyway. So that's that."

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10/19; a wish to make people happy

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